Self-Worth: What Is It and How to Build It Starting Now
8:00 AM
But, those highlight reels come with consequences.
Because we only see what people want us to see, and in reverse only put out what we want others to see about us, our perception of ourselves suffer. That's not a good way to live.
I strongly believe that everyone should live their best lives and the only way to do that is by valuing yourself. Finding that no matter what, what you think of yourself is important. You could have everything thing in the world, but none of that would matter if you didn't think that you were worthy of it.
So, let's talk about it.
What is self-worth?
Self-worth stated simply is the way you feel about yourself and your abilities. However, it's more complex than that.
Think of it this way: When looking in the mirror, what do you see?
Personally, the first thing I do when looking in the mirror is to point out all of the things that I don't like about myself, which is what a lot of people do. Now after that, if I spend time continuing to look at what I don't like and let it bother me throughout my day, that is a sign that my self-worth is struggling.
Now, someone with a high level of self-worth might point out what they don't like about themselves, but also take the time to highlight what they do like.
(We'll get into this further a little later.)
Why does self-worth matter to me?
When we value ourselves, we feel good about the person we are and the person we're becoming. Because we're ever-growing and ever-changing beings, self-worth is the one constant element that affects how the world perceives us.I know that other people are constantly saying that we shouldn't care about what society or the world has to say about us, and I agree with that. However, I also think it's unrealistic to say that other peoples' perception of us don't matter because it does.
And that's the catch about it all. Self-worth isn't the ideology that others' perception of us don't matter, it's simply that:
What you think about yourself matters more.
So, the question from here on is:
How do you build your self-worth?
If you're looking for immediate results, you're not going to find it. Not from me or anywhere else on the internet. Building self-worth is a process that takes baby steps.Here are 3 steps you can start working on to build self-worth starting now:
1. Acknowledge your weaknesses and strengths
Because self-worth is rooted in the perception of your abilities, it's important to take time to acknowledge the areas that you can improve upon.
A lot of blogs and websites claim that you can't build self-worth while being critical of yourself. Well, I think you can. As a matter of fact, I know you can.
In my own journey in building self-worth, I had to take a hard look at myself and really pinpoint the areas in my life where I lacked confidence. I had to be critical of myself, but the key was doing it without tearing myself down in the same breath.
For example,
"I talk too much and everyone hates me. I'll never be able to get people to like me if I don't stop talking. Why couldn't I be a quiet, shy person?"
The problem with this statement is that I'm denying the fact that maybe my gift or talent is that I can communicate well. So, I had to change this statement.
I now say:
"I'm a talkative person and that may annoy people, but I have the abilitiy to communicate with people in a way that has a positive impact on their life."
I took what seemed like a weakness and turned it into a strength. Just because my gift or ability is underdeveloped doesn't mean that it's bad.
2. Worry not with what you can't control
This is more directed to feeling worthy when looking at our bodies because as we all know, having confidence in the way we look physically is hard.
I've found that the key in this step is reminding yourself that every time you talk negatively about a part of your body, you are also talking negatively about someone else in your family.
Basically, it's easy to forget that we look like those that came before us. We look like our parents, who like their parents, who look like their parents too. And the list goes on. Therefore, when we say things like: "I hate my thighs" or "I hate my nose," we're also saying that we hate those things on other people too.
Now, you might argue that it looks good on them, just not on you, and to that, I call B.S.
You don't get to pick an chose. It either looks good or it doesn't.
Deciding when certain features look good and when they don't, does more harm to you and those around you. The easiest thing to do is just accept that there are things we can change, and others we can't.
As I've learned and am still learning, it won't be easy, but it's so worth it.
3. Remind yourself that you're still working on it
We've already covered how to deal with the things we can't control, so let's talk about how to deal with what we can control.None of us are perfect, no matter what Instagram says.
We all have things within ourselves that we can improve or work on. Sticking with the "I hate my thighs" example, my tip is simply this:
If you don't like it and can change it, go for it. But, the catch with this is to not get obsessed with trying to change it. Again, there is only so much you can control. Do what you can to the best of your ability and then leave it alone.
Treat yourself with kindness and love. Don't tear yourself down by trying to meet unrealistic expectations.
To wrap up this conversation that could go on forever, I want to leave you this thought:
As human beings, we look for validation from others and I think that's fine.
But at the end of the day, it's a matter of staying grounded in who you are.
You are a person that is deserving of living your best life while being the best version of yourself. Don't let yourself get in the way of who you want to be.
Work hard and keep trying. Your future self will thank you.
Want to keep this conversation going? Leave me a comment or connect with me via my social media.
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